When will I stop
to that state of
a little girl
when her parents are teaching her what to answer
when people ask her what's her name.
At kindergarten, teachers were convinced that I was a foreigner even if back then, I had had never traveled but had played the airplane-wind-curtain-spring-game alone, and not once I felt that my airplane was empty.In spring, my parents would half-open the balconies and keep the curtains loose, and around 1 pm,that mimetic spring wind would blow leaving the curtains to form a half hollow circle that I would smile upon seeing and run and sit, inside of it.I would sway, so unforcefully sway and scream to my passengers of the form of the clouds ahead of me.I was a very calm girl.Later, when my younger brother grew up a little, I started calling him to join me so we travel together.He giggled so much ;he seemed to enjoy it, but soon I was back to playing this game alone, with my passengers and clouds that would for long moments disappear.And our travel was slow, in a way that I would call now "sensual".
I hope I am not growing up to retaliate this past.I hope I am not growing up.
And in a trope, I feel I am a cloud waiting for rain, so the sea may be filled, and I may drink it to vapor, so I, myself, would rain.